Five Movies in a Week (Part 1)

This is some sort of a record, even for a movie buff like me. I'm more selective with the movies I watch in the theater, but when it's showing on TV, and there's nothing urgent for me to do, I'll just sit and watch.

Along Came a Spider
Morgan Freeman stars in this suspense-mystery as a washed-out detective who was called out to solve the kidnapping case of a Senator's daugher from a high-security private school. The movie started off well - the mood reminded me of Se7en, given the fact that Morgan is working with a less-experienced Secret Service agent. Just when they are about to solve the case, the plot twist. All the psychotic kidnapper wanted was media attention as he plans to kidnap the Russian President's son using the Senator's daughter as bait, but somebody has even bigger plans. There's a puppetmaster behind the scenes biding his/her time, taking advantage of the situation to get millions worth of diamonds as ransom money.

The coincidences and implausibilities are just ridiculuous. How can the criminal mastermind be sure that the demented kidnapper will stick to the script? How did the accomplice know Mr. Freeman's movement, timing, and location down to the platform and train, when he was out there on the tracks waiting to catch the bag of diamonds thrown out of the speeding train's window? And how did Freeman get to crack the mastermind's master plan? What else, by booting up her computer and typing in the security password, which happened to be a phrase she mentioned when they were chatting a long, long time ago. That's Hollywood for you. Read the James Patterson book instead.

Upside of Anger
I wouldn't have watched this if not for the free tickets. I don't know why but I tend to avoid movies by aging actors who still think they've got it, e.g. Richard Gere, Harrison Ford, and yes, Kevin Costner. I probably would've liked it more if Bruce Willis played the part. You've got this ex-baseballl star turned radio host forcing his way into the lives of a bitter and angry housewife and her four daughters. Funny how the teenage daughters act more mature than the adults. I mean sneaking into each other houses for a quickie, or stopping their cars in the middle of an intersection to argue, then kissing and making up while everyone waits for them to move their cars?

Some moral lessons from the movie:

• Never tell your daughters what NOT to do because they'll do it anyway.
• Never assume that your husband ran off with his Swedish secretary just because he suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth. He could simply be dead in the backyard.
• When your drunkard of a neighbor starts hanging around your house after learning that your husband desserted you, you don't need to ask. All he wants is to have s3x with you.

Life Is Beautiful (La Vita è Bella)
I can't believe this film by Italy's national treasure Robert Benigni won so many awards, including the Cannes, Oscar, and BAFTA. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's not that good nor that funny. You get classic comedy during the first half and poignant tragedy in the second. I know the audience is supposed to let slide the many improbable events in the film, but how is possible for one father to hide an active, curious kid in a German concentration camp for years without being discovered?! All along, the father behaved as if the whole camp is his giant playground without being shot or punished for it. And the kid believed his story that it's all a game, and that by the time the gunshots died down and the smoke cleared, they're going to win a real tank as a prize.

The kid managed to get his tank all right (and reunited with his Mom) after the war, but I fear he'll be gullible for the rest of his life. If it's a Holocaust comedy you want, watch Train de Vie instead.