Funniest book I've read in years. It's seriously LOL funny. It was so funny I didn't mind sitting inside the car in a basement parking for two hours reading the book with only the car light on.Opening scene has Zack's bum running off in the middle of the night. Zack tracks it down and found it addressing millions of other bums in a stadium. Turns out the bums are tired of being the butt of jokes and doing our dirty work, so they're revolting. They want world domination and humans rearranged - bums on top, heads at the bottom. What follows is a fight to the finish between the B-Team made up of the Kicker (I'm gonna kick your bum), the Smacker (I'll slap your bum), the Kisser (the bum-kisser), and Eleanor versus the Great White Bum and its goons (the bumflies, the bumranhas, cluster bums, etc.) The plot is strange and unique; the language simple and straight-forward. I think what makes the book funny is because it talks about things like bums and farting, as if they're normal conversation topics.
Some choice sections:The Smacker rolled up her dress sleeves past her elbows, raised her enormous hands in the air and put on the most amazing display of slapping and smacking Zack had ever seen. Backhanders, fronthanders, slaps, super-slaps, super double front and backhander power-slaps -- there wasn't a smack or a slap that she didn't know. She smacked one bum so hard that it simply blew apart, smearing the windscreen with brown liquid.
`I'll kick their bums so hard they'll wish they never had them,' said the Kicker. `But they are bums,' said Eleanor. `How can a bum not have a bum? It would just be a hole.' `Then I'd kick that as well.'
`Any stinkants come near me and I'll kick their bums!' growled the Kicker. `How can you kick an ant's bum?' said Eleanor. `Wouldn't it be too small?' `No bum is too small for me to kick,' said the Kicker. `Why not just step on them?' said the Kisser. `Because I like kicking! Got a problem with that?' said the Kicker. `No problem at all,' said the Kisser. `I just sometimes wonder if kicking is the best answer to everything.'
The Kicker was crouching on the back of his poopoise, his arms folded across his chest. He was kicking with one foot and then the other, and sometimes leaping up into the air and kicking with both feet at once. He looked more like a Russian Cossack dancer than a bum-fighter. The Smacker's arms were a blur, cutting, dicing and chopping the flies like helicopter blades. She looked like a human blender making a giant blowfly smoothie.
This one from part two: Zombie Bums from Uranus.
`This is very serious,' said Eleanor. `They're zombie bums.'
`Zombie bums?' said Zack. `From Uranus?'
`No,' said Eleanor. `From Uranus.'
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