Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Qantas Movie Marathon

Off to US for a three-week vacation. It's good that my brother is based there, as I have no idea about US geography and I haven't done any research as to which places to go. The plan was to rest for a day in St. Louis, Missouri, then fly to Chicago. Fly back to St. Louis to recoup, then fly again to Buffalo via O'Hare. From Buffalo, do a quick drive to see Niagara Falls. From Buffalo, we fly to Washington, drive to NYC, fly to LA, drive to Las Vegas, drive to Grand Canyon, drive back to LA, then fly back to Sydney. And that's gonna be for all of three weeks.

With the recently discovered terrorist plot to blow up planes using liquid explosives, all flights to US and UK require special checks. No liquids of any kind allowed on board - no toothpaste, no perfumes, no facial creams, no liquid medication, no baby milk, etc. If you have excess saliva in your mouth, you better spit it out. I brought along an empty water bottle, and even that got confiscated. With 15 hours to kill before we reach SFO, I do what I always do on long-haul flights - watch lots of movies. For this particular trip, I've selected Lucky Number Slevin, Over the Hedge, MI3, and Nacho Libre.

Lucky Number Slevin stars John Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu, etc. I got duped into watching this movie because the plot sounds smart. (Even the tagline is smart: "Wrong Time. Wrong Place. Wrong Number.") It's a case of mistaken identity with two rival crime bosses (The Rabbi and The Boss) vowing vengeance for the death of their sons. Little did they know that innocent-looking Slevin (Josh Hartnett) is no slouch, and together with assassin Mr. Goodkat (Bruce Willis), they're running a Kansas City Shuffle 20 years in the making for the murder of his parents. I should've caught on earlier, but I didn't. There must be a reason why Mr. Goodkat was explaining the meaning of Kansas City Shuffle during the first part of the movie. Even Lindsey (Lucy Liu) wondered why the (alleged) muggers didn't take Slevin's expensive watch and briefcase. The whole thing is one big setup, and we weren't let in on the secret till the very last minute. I just hate it when they do that. Like I said, the movie tries too hard to be smart and cool. Some of the dialogue is funny though:
"It was an accident!" "What, like... he tripped, you fell?"
"Why is he called the Rabbi?" "Because he's a rabbi." "Why is he called the fairy?" "Because he's a fairy." "What, he's got wings, he can fly, he sprinkles magic dust all over the place?" "He's a homosexual."
"What happen to your nose?" "I used it to break some guy's fist."
"Who are you?" "I'm The Boss." "I thought he was The Boss." "Why? Do we look alike?"

Computer animation is getting better and better. I don't know why I'm such a sucker for cartoons. Usually, the stories aren't too bad either. Case in point, Over the Hedge. Story is about this greedy raccoon who got caught stealing goodies from the big bad bear's cave. Naturally, he's none too happy. (The hibernating bear, I mean.) Especially when the bear's whole stash got squashed by a highway truck. Vincent the Bear (Nick Nolte) orders RJ the Raccoon (Bruce Willis) to bring back all of his goodies (plus a cooler and a wagon). Or else. While foraging around, RJ befriends a bunch of naive woodland creatures. He organizes them and teaches them how to steal food from the suburban sprawl that sprung up in the midst of their forest. Of course, he doesn't tell his new friends that the food they're collecting is for the bear, and not for the group's subsistence during the lean months. You can probably already guess where this is going. Verne the Turtle (Garry Shandling) doesn't trust RJ, but who can argue with success, and Verne eventually gets ousted by the group. The gang eventually discovers the truth. RJ sees the error of his ways, and a grand confrontation among the creatures, RJ, Vincent the Bear, Gladys the homeowner and Dwayne the Verminator ensues.

Ethan Hunt is back on the big screen for his third impossible mission. This time around he's wise enough to settle down and is even engaged to be married, but old habits die hard. Before you can say disavowed, he's back in the field fighting the bad guys. Amid all the face masks, the voice disguisers, the brain bombs, the red herrings, the double-crosses, he manages to get his wife involved in the fracas. He gives his wife a quick how-to on guns, and promptly goes dead to stop the bomb in his brain from going off. Super-sharp wife that she is, Ethan's wife kills off the bad guys, then resurrects Ethan with CPR. And Mr. and Mrs. Hunt lived happily ever after.

Nacho Libre is the best of the lot, in my opinion. Jack Black is just so funny, regardless of what role he chooses to play. In Nacho Libre, he is a Mexican friar stuck in a no-future kitchen duty. His lifelong ambition is to be a famous luchador (wrestler), but the odds are against him. For one, he's fat. Second, he has no wrestling skills whatsoever. This doesn't deter him though. For "the good of the orphans", he moonlights as a masked wrestler to earn a few extra bucks. He uses the money to prepare nice meals for the orphans at the monastery and for his lady love, Sister Mary Encarnacion. With the help of his skinny sidekick Esquelto, he takes on Ramses the Great in one epic battle to win the big prize money for the orphans and for Sister Mary's love.

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