The 40-Year-Old Kid #4

The 40-Year-Old Kid #3

The 40-Year-Old Kid #2

The 40-Year-Old Kid #1

Windows 10 Screensaver

Every time I reinstall Windows, I register additional user accounts, configure the default apps, adjust the power settings, the mouse pointer speed, and enable the screensaver. Lately, with Windows 10, I always spend a disproportionate amount of time looking for the screensaver settings.

You'd think it'll be under Display, but it's not. Entering "screen" or "screen saver" in the Settings search box doesn't give any relevant results either. It's like Microsoft doesn't want people to use screensavers in this day and age anymore. But it is there - you just need to know where to look.

Under Personalization, go to Lock screen. Right at the bottom, you'll find "Screen saver settings". You're welcome.

Internet Speed Test

Quick, how fast is your Internet connection? Speedtest.net! I mean, everybody and their dog knows about speedtest.net. Kudos to Ookla's marketing department. The good thing about speedtest.net is that they work with around 6,000 servers in over 200 countries and regions, which makes the test results quite accurate, as you're always testing with a "local" server. On the flip side, speedtest.net usage has become so prevalent that quite a few carriers and ISPs have started "optimizing" traffic to/from Ookla's servers. This gives an excellent speed rating, and customers are happy. Win-win!

Did you know there are other (better?) alternatives out there? Why not try Big G's own speed test? Just type in, you guessed it, speed test on the Google search bar, and away you go. Service is provided by Measurement Lab (M-Lab). You can also try fast.com, which is powered by Netflix. Fast.com only measures download speed though. If you like real-time graphs and pie charts, give speedof.me a try. It measure upload speed, download speed, and latency. Download speed is calculated over 9 passes with different file sizes.

Something Stupid (CSE Revue Version)

Something Stupid
(from UNSW CSE Revue 2004)

You had to stand in line
Because I lost the track of time
And you just waited for me

I fumbled as we tried to dance
I spilt wine on your pants
But you're still patient with me

Then afterwards I dropped into a quiet Liquorland
And had a case or two

I screwed it up once and for all
By saying something stupid
Like "If you and your sister were both really drunk..."

Then I try to apologise
But I mention you've got fat thighs
And screw it up some more

I wish I could explain to you
Although it's true
I shouldn't point out no more

I try to everyday come up with nicer things to say
But I'd rather be honest with you
Remember our first date, I tried to guess your body weight
And I said 152

And now tonight
The vodka fill my head
My eyes turn red
And walk up to you
and I screw it up once and for all
By saying something stupid
Like "You know... For a girl her age, I always thought Penny from Inspector Gadget was pretty hot"

Later that night
I get to clear my head
And say instead
That out of five, she's two
And then I go fix it all
By saying something simple
Like I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
Girl: I'm pregnant
Guy: Shithouse

Walking on Landmines (CSE Revue Version)

Walking on Landmines
(from UNSW CSE Revue 2004)

I used to farm grain in my village
But not anymore
Yes everything changed on that day
When you came to my shore

You were looking for some guy named Charlie
I tried to help out
But all I could find was a Claymore
Whilst walking about

I was walking on landmines (woah!)
I was walking on landmines (wo-oah!)
I was walking on landmines (wo-oah!)
And it didn't Feel Good (Hey) (All right now)
And it didn't Feel Good (Hey) (Yeah)

So there I was in a hospital
Just waiting for aid
You'll never believe it the doctor
Was killed by a grenade

Now I'm not gonna heal in a weekend
Nor heal in a day
Oh man I'd trade an arm and a leg
for a ... shit!

I was walking on landmines (woah!)
I was walking on landmines (wo-oah!)
I was walking on landmines (wo-oah!)
And it didn't Feel Good

Cyberian Rhapsody (CSE Revue Version)

Cyberian Rhapsody
(from UNSW CSE Revue 2004)

Don't like my real life, I just want fantasy
Log on a chat line, to escape from reality
Tell a few lies, to hide my identity
My nick is Toyb0i, when I am on IRC
And now I'm logging on ICQ, MSN, and Yahoo
I'm a cyber-sex pro, someone send a message to me
To me

Mama, despite your ban
Looked up porno on the web
Masturbated in my bed
Mama, I had just begun
When you walked into my room then stormed away
Mama, ooo,
There's no love in real life
So I'll log on again this time tomorrow
Logging on, logging on, it is all that really matters...

Today, I met someone
She sent shivers down my spine
Her display pic looks so fine
Tell me everybody, I've got to know
Should I tell some lies or should I tell the truth
Mama ooo- (don't mention your webbed toes)
I don't want to lie,
But if I don't I'll never find love at all...

I emailed her a picture of another man
Nice round tush, and good looks, oh what a killer combo
Handsome like prince charming, like the guy from Titanic
Leonardo, Leonardo
Leonardo, Leonardo
Leonardo, what's his name? Dicaprio

A/S/L baby, are you from Sydney?
No, I'm from Perth, but I'm flying there quickly
If you have would you like to meet me...
I'm in love, I will go, please mum let me go
to see her no I will not let you go *LET ME GO*
to see her no I will not let you go *LET ME GO*
to see her no I will not let you go *LET ME GO*
Will not let you go *LET ME GO* will not let you go *LET ME GO*
Never never let me goooo no no no no no no no
Oh can I meet her, let me meet her, if I meet her will she know?
I wonder if she has lied about herself like me, like me, like me

So I met her and I could not believe my eyes
Her bra size was not D it was A she had lied
and ninety... it turned out she was ninety
And then I found out, and then I found out 'bout her beard

oooh yes oooh yes oooh

Love life's all in tatters
and girls are not for me
But if I am a homo, at least the odds are good at CSE

Are there any homos...?