Cyberian Rhapsody (CSE Revue Version)

Cyberian Rhapsody
(from UNSW CSE Revue 2004)

Don't like my real life, I just want fantasy
Log on a chat line, to escape from reality
Tell a few lies, to hide my identity
My nick is Toyb0i, when I am on IRC
And now I'm logging on ICQ, MSN, and Yahoo
I'm a cyber-sex pro, someone send a message to me
To me

Mama, despite your ban
Looked up porno on the web
Masturbated in my bed
Mama, I had just begun
When you walked into my room then stormed away
Mama, ooo,
There's no love in real life
So I'll log on again this time tomorrow
Logging on, logging on, it is all that really matters...

Today, I met someone
She sent shivers down my spine
Her display pic looks so fine
Tell me everybody, I've got to know
Should I tell some lies or should I tell the truth
Mama ooo- (don't mention your webbed toes)
I don't want to lie,
But if I don't I'll never find love at all...

I emailed her a picture of another man
Nice round tush, and good looks, oh what a killer combo
Handsome like prince charming, like the guy from Titanic
Leonardo, Leonardo
Leonardo, Leonardo
Leonardo, what's his name? Dicaprio

A/S/L baby, are you from Sydney?
No, I'm from Perth, but I'm flying there quickly
If you have would you like to meet me...
I'm in love, I will go, please mum let me go
to see her no I will not let you go *LET ME GO*
to see her no I will not let you go *LET ME GO*
to see her no I will not let you go *LET ME GO*
Will not let you go *LET ME GO* will not let you go *LET ME GO*
Never never let me goooo no no no no no no no
Oh can I meet her, let me meet her, if I meet her will she know?
I wonder if she has lied about herself like me, like me, like me

So I met her and I could not believe my eyes
Her bra size was not D it was A she had lied
and ninety... it turned out she was ninety
And then I found out, and then I found out 'bout her beard

oooh yes oooh yes oooh

Love life's all in tatters
and girls are not for me
But if I am a homo, at least the odds are good at CSE

Are there any homos...?